it's 12am now.


feeling a bit weird after a cry.
also don't know why i cry
some more in front of mummy.

she said some thing at around 9pm.
and i keep thinking about it.
then just now when she leaving my room to go sleep that time,
i hold her back and talk about it and i cried.

the thing is i was watching d.grey man on crunchyroll
because heard from people it was damn nice.
so i decided to watch it as my moodle was left with only one easy one to be done
got math and geo ws too but that can wait till tml right?

then she sit behind me keep nagging bugging me.
that's okay for me as i would hear it almost everyday.
BUT the thing is today she said a new line.

don't you lag behind your sis.

i was stunned man.
i never feel i am no good OR better then my jie.
i never thought about it before.
i was happy for her when she decided to register herself for NTU.
i was proud you know and keep saying it in front of my peers.
i never once compare myself to her.
i never once thought mum would compare me and her this way.
if she compare with me and my cousin, im still okay with it.
but...... how can she compare me to her?

i really want to try my best to live hard study hard
the prob is when i'm doing my work,
she is never there to see.
she is always working working and working.
she can't be blame for that but i just hope she can understand me
and stop stop stop bugging me on my studies.
i KNOW what am i doing and JOLLY WELL know i have tests exams to take.
so please dont worry.




im abit emo here in this post.
but don't worry peers who is reading this
i'm fine now. =)